By Eve Briner


Getting divorced is a difficult process, and places many demands on your emotional stability and maturity. A New Jersey divorce lawyer can help you make it a learning process which will enable you to grow mentally stronger. If you simply react on a purely emotional level, you will find the impact much worse. You need to keep it in the right perspective.

Your children are possibly even more affected than you by the process, and are much more vulnerable to this major threat to their security. They need to be kept in the loop on custody issues, because this will be very important to them. They are pretty sensitive to threats to their security, and are pretty much in your hands.

Your concern is to make sure the arrangements will be best for your kids. A good relationship with both parents may be an important factor in what they achieve with their lives. Poor decisions and criticizing the other parent can have a very deleterious effect on their self image, irrespective of the truth of any such statements.

You need to remember that more is involved than your own personal needs and emotions. You cannot take risks when the future of your children may be at stake, and inadequate arrangements can make them resentful of the whole process. You should aim to minimize the impact on your children.

Your lawyer can help guide you to reach a successful agreement about custody. Experience will show what type of arrangements cause difficulties and which tend to flow smoothly. Much also depends on the attitude and emotional involvement of the parents, and any arrangement requires co-operation to succeed.

A good divorce lawyer in New Jersey will know which custody arrangements are likely to cause trouble. It is better if you can minimize the chances of future friction over custody. Your children are not a weapon to be used to punish a former spouse, but are people with their own needs.




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