07:36:00
I:0:T The first step in bringing up children totally free of tantrums during their entire childhoods is to stop believing the decades-old advice of the parenting experts-that temper tantrums are natural, normal, inevitable, and mostly unpreventable when raising children. This advice is faulty. Virtually all children could be brought up without tantrums if the caregivers only knew how to do it. I can help you know how. My first five babies all had tantrums but the last eight didn't. With number five, thirty-three years ago, I learned what I needed to change in my parenting style, and within one week or so he was free of tantrums, forever. None of my last eight babies ever threw temper tantrums because I'd shown them from their births on they could trust me to respond as they needed to their anger.
Where did this tantrum-universality misconception come from-besides being handed down through the generations? I'm not sure, on average, how many kids each parenting expert has had, but from my limited pre-Internet, pre-Wikipedia research about twenty years ago, it seemed like it was maybe one or two and hasn't likely increased since then. Most book-writing parenting experts don't seem to disclose how many kids they've had. We often have to guess by the number of people they dedicate their books to. It's true.
I doubt that any parent could possibly learn everything there is to learn about parenting with only one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I learned crucial skills with my fourth and fifth children. And I'm still learning. Parents usually like to keep their parenting imperfections hidden, though. No one enjoys openly admitting to their parenting faults.
So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.
But not long after becoming parents, most of these experts suddenly have their own kids who throw temper tantrums. This proves their textbook theories about tantrum universality. If even the expert parents (themselves) raise tantrum-throwing children, then of course no inexpert parents could do better. Right? Wrong. Millions of inexpert parents have raised tantrum-free children. I know that tantrum-free child rearing is certainly possible, and highly preferable. It's also a great deal more enjoyable (than the alternative) for every person involved, including the general public. I can tell you how to create a family lifestyle totally free of tantrums.
Where did this tantrum-universality misconception come from-besides being handed down through the generations? I'm not sure, on average, how many kids each parenting expert has had, but from my limited pre-Internet, pre-Wikipedia research about twenty years ago, it seemed like it was maybe one or two and hasn't likely increased since then. Most book-writing parenting experts don't seem to disclose how many kids they've had. We often have to guess by the number of people they dedicate their books to. It's true.
I doubt that any parent could possibly learn everything there is to learn about parenting with only one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I learned crucial skills with my fourth and fifth children. And I'm still learning. Parents usually like to keep their parenting imperfections hidden, though. No one enjoys openly admitting to their parenting faults.
So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.
But not long after becoming parents, most of these experts suddenly have their own kids who throw temper tantrums. This proves their textbook theories about tantrum universality. If even the expert parents (themselves) raise tantrum-throwing children, then of course no inexpert parents could do better. Right? Wrong. Millions of inexpert parents have raised tantrum-free children. I know that tantrum-free child rearing is certainly possible, and highly preferable. It's also a great deal more enjoyable (than the alternative) for every person involved, including the general public. I can tell you how to create a family lifestyle totally free of tantrums.
About the Author:
Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.
0 comments:
Post a Comment