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Parenting experts have long failed in assisting the parents in the world to totally eliminate the temper tantrums of their children. One of the primary reasons this has occurred is that the vast majority of parenting experts are very misguided and do not comprehend the true causes of temper tantrums. These parenting professionals tell us parents that the actual causes of children's temper tantrums are their determination to get what they want, their low ability to tolerate frustration, their inability to solve problems, their need for attention, their lack of ability to express themselves in words, and their inability to get out their emotions any other way-all of which, we're told, naturally leads children to experiment with tantrums.
I have learned on my own that these are not the true causes of tantrums. They are, however, the causes of the initial anger that leads up to the tantrums. Over a twenty-three-year period, I have repeatedly demonstrated that if the initial anger of a child invokes the needed parental response, the anger quickly goes away and doesn't develop into a tantrum. One very real cause of tantrums is when parents don't meet the initial anger needs of their children.
If children consistently do not have their anger needs met, they then learn to trust in that likelihood, and they tend to become predisposed to escalating quickly into temper tantrums. Conversely, if children consistently do get their anger needs met, they then learn to trust in that likelihood, and so they become predisposed not to escalate into temper tantrums. This happens when the parents demonstrate to the children that they understand the anger and will consistently respond to it the proper way.
I acquired this understanding of appropriate anger responses through my personal experience. My first five children, as babies, all threw temper tantrums, but my last eight children didn't. When I learned what to change in my anger responses when my fifth baby was fourteen months old, he stopped throwing tantrums within a week or so. I used my new techniques with my next eight children, from their births on, and not one of them ever threw a tantrum during their childhood years.
I called my techniques Infant Anger Management, partly because they can be used on newborn infants in starting to teach them never to tantrum. When parents abandon all of the faulty causes of temper tantrums they've been taught and then learn how to functionally respond to the anger of their infants and children, there are no more temper tantrums to have to deal with.
I have learned on my own that these are not the true causes of tantrums. They are, however, the causes of the initial anger that leads up to the tantrums. Over a twenty-three-year period, I have repeatedly demonstrated that if the initial anger of a child invokes the needed parental response, the anger quickly goes away and doesn't develop into a tantrum. One very real cause of tantrums is when parents don't meet the initial anger needs of their children.
If children consistently do not have their anger needs met, they then learn to trust in that likelihood, and they tend to become predisposed to escalating quickly into temper tantrums. Conversely, if children consistently do get their anger needs met, they then learn to trust in that likelihood, and so they become predisposed not to escalate into temper tantrums. This happens when the parents demonstrate to the children that they understand the anger and will consistently respond to it the proper way.
I acquired this understanding of appropriate anger responses through my personal experience. My first five children, as babies, all threw temper tantrums, but my last eight children didn't. When I learned what to change in my anger responses when my fifth baby was fourteen months old, he stopped throwing tantrums within a week or so. I used my new techniques with my next eight children, from their births on, and not one of them ever threw a tantrum during their childhood years.
I called my techniques Infant Anger Management, partly because they can be used on newborn infants in starting to teach them never to tantrum. When parents abandon all of the faulty causes of temper tantrums they've been taught and then learn how to functionally respond to the anger of their infants and children, there are no more temper tantrums to have to deal with.
About the Author:
Learn more about the causes of temper tantrums.To eliminate tantrums . visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for help with temper tantrums.
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